Consume All Media! Superman: "Chapter Ten: Between Two Fires"
- Joseph Heath
- 4 hours ago
- 4 min read
Joe Heath is a big fan of comic books and watching things in order. So they made this spreadsheet containing every serial, short, film, television episode, commercial, motion comic, and web series based on a comic book. Now they're watching them all. Previously, Joe watched the ninth chapter of Superman. This time, they continue with the tenth.
Superman: “Chapter Ten: Between Two Fires” - 15:37 (Available on Amazon)
[Zach Galifianakis leans in to whisper to his guest, Clark Kent.]
ZG: ...so technically you’re an illegal immigrant.
[Zach turns to the camera.]
ZG: Welcome to another edition of Between Two Ferns. I’m your host, Zach Galifianakis. My guest today is…
[Zach squints at his notes.]
ZG: Clark K… Clark K… K… I can’t say that on television.
[Zach shows the note to Clark.]
CK: It’s an e, not a u.
ZG: Clark Cent?
CK: Kent.
ZG: Whatever. So you’re here to talk about cereal? What’s your favorite? Mine’s Oops! All Berries.
CK: I can tell.
ZG: Oh, fat shaming. Great start.
CK: Don’t most of your guests do that?
ZG: So you’re gonna fat shame me and be unoriginal. Awesome. I knew I should have ended this show after the movie...
CK: Most of us wish you’d stopped before then.
ZG: Didn’t you have a breakfast cereal to shamelessly promote?
CK: Actually, I’m here to talk about chapter 10 of Superman, the film serial released in 1948.
ZG: Oh, you know what was really interesting that came out in 1948?
CK: No, wh--
ZG: Yeah, me neither.
CK: …
ZG: …
CK: So in this chapter, I rescue Lois Lane from the explosion of a reducer ray.
ZG: Surely that sounds like a job for Superman.
CK: I am Superman.
ZG: WHAT?! But you wear glasses.
CK: Only when I’m Clark Kent.
ZG: So you don’t wear them as Superman? You just go around fighting crime with blurry vision?
CK: No, I don’t need the glasses. It’s just a disguise.
ZG: Oh. So you’re faking a disability. Got it. Continue.
[Clark takes a deep breath.]
CK: Right. So... Jimmy Olsen follows the villains who exploded the reducer ray to a gas station. He pretends to be a gas station attendant and lets the air out of their car’s tire.
ZG: So is that how your operation works? You go off and flirt with Lois while Jimmy does all of the real work? Sounds like Jimmy’s the only one really doing his job. Would you say that’s accurate?
CK: You know what? No, actually. Jimmy’s not good at his job. Because right after that gas station stunt, he gets captured by the bad guys.
ZG: Wow. Those are some pretty harsh words about your co-worker. Who’s just been kidnapped. And here I thought Jimmy was Superman’s pal.
CK: Can I please just get through this?
ZG: I wish you would, it’s very boring.
CK: I need a better agent... Okay, so the bad guys lock Jimmy up with Graham, the inventor of the reducer ray, who is secretly working on a radio to send out a morse code signal. The signal interferes with some electrical equipment, leading Lois and I to investigate. I crack the code and realize that it’s coming from Graham. Lois takes a device to track down the signal while I stay behind to give directions.
ZG: Oh my god, who cares? The only thing nerdier than listening to a recap of comic book media from the 1940s is being the person recapping comic book media from the 1940s.
[The fourth wall creaks a little.]
ZG: Was that a wasp?
CK: No. Stop interrupting. The bad guys discover that Graham is sending out the signal. They don’t stop the signal, but they rig the place to explode and drive away from there with Jimmy and Graham. Along the way, Jimmy jumps out of the car to freedom. However, Lois finds the source of the signal and goes inside the building just as it catches on fire. What a cliffhanger!
ZG: I’m surprised that a film serial called Superman sounds like it’s more about Jimmy and Lois. I get it, though. They have some red hot chemistry. They’re totally banging, right?
CK: No, they’re not-- look, it’s not about them. It’s about me.
ZG: Someone has an ego.
CK: I didn’t mean it like that!
ZG: I’m just saying, Jimmy and Lois were the only people doing anything. Were you even in it?
CK: Yes!
ZG: Really? What did you even do?
CK: I knew the morse code!
ZG: Very heroic. You learn that in the boy scouts? My idiot brother knows morse code and he failed kindergarten twice because he couldn’t figure out how to tie his shoes. I bet you struggle with that, too. I mean, you put your pants on before your underwear.
CK: My mother made me that costume. And then she died.
ZG: Do you feel guilty that her final act in this world was making you ugly pajamas?
CK: If you don’t shut your mouth, I’m gonna--
ZG: What? What are you going to do, huh? Break my neck? That’s how you solve your problems these days, right? Breaking necks?
[Clark slows his breathing.]
CK: I’m not going to let your comments get to me, Mr. Galifianakis. I’m better than that.
ZG: So is that why you were Seinfeld’s bitch in those American Express commercials?
Should you watch it, though? It’s a little slower than the other chapters, but you should still watch it. And Between Two Ferns.
Host Highlights
Zach Galifianakis (1969-Present)
Other comic book media credits: The Joker in The Lego Batman Movie (2017) & Batman Is Just Not That Into You (2017).
Tune in next time for Superman: "Chapter Eleven: Superman's Dilemma" (Available on Amazon)
